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[Gator]

I'm helping my daughter quit smoking at the moment. She's 14. This is the latest in a long list of sagas that she has subjected me to since she became a teenager. 

Post your problems up in here. If you have a problem with kids, chances are that she has already done it. 

[keasy]

Great idea actually.

I would love to make a parenting board where us poor parents could find fellowship and help each other out with experiences etc.

[Ctulu]

I can imagine how hard it is with al them youngsters wanting to grow up faster then before, all hormonal influenced by beef and oestrogene in water and all that sh1t, turning in bloody superficial materialist fecks .... the sms culture.  It does my head in sometimes. 

[Gator]

I'm quite serious about this. I've been to hell and back with her since she turned 13. Drugs, smoking, running away - and that's just to name a few issues. In all this time though, we have kept talking and talking and listening and talking until we have reached a place where we are happy - until the next crisis lol.

If you wanna talk about it - vent.

[Wooster]

I'm sure that Sugar would empathise with you Gator, her son has ADHD and her teenage daughter is/was getting/got married recently to some bloke from Inverness (which is as good as another country over here.. )

[AbaddonsFury]

I have to admit, I have been pretty blessed with mine, mind you I was pretty strict in some ways especially when it came down to my daughters honour, (I always told my daughters "Prevention is better than the cure, because daddy IS the cure"), the oldest daughter 22 got married 2 years ago, and we now have a 16months old Grandaughter (Madeline), the next is 18 and she is finishing her HSC this year, and is now only starting to seriously date a young respectable bloke, and of course there's our youngest who most of you know, Liam 7, who has made me realise that girls at a young age are a lot more sensible than boys, then of course it changes as they get older, once a girl gets in her teens, all logic leaves, PMT 24/7, snarly evil creatures that will tear the very soul from your body and eat it in front of you, then bang.....they're nice a again......lol....

[Hallcat]

Talk is the best for girls.  Talk about her friends.  Talk about her boyfriends.  Talk about her hopes, dreams, goals.  Talk about how she will get there.  Talk about how what she is doing now will keep her from her hopes, dreams, and goals.  Talk about your mistakes, your missed hopes, your missed dreams, your missed goals.  (don't preach, be real)  Talk about what caused you to miss your own hopes, dreams, goals.  Talk about sex and the reality of the difference between what sex is to a teenage girl and what it is to a teenage boy.  Talk about how proud you are of her.  Talk about how beautiful she is.  Talk about how worthy she is of a wonderful life.  Talk to her about how hard she has to work to get that life.  Talk to her about how easy it is to give that wonderful life up is she makes too many mistakes.  Most important truly listen w/o judgment when she responds.  because she will.  If there is a good male role model in her life, get him involved.  A man who can show a girl that she can be valued for her true self, without sexuality, obligation, guilt, or worry, is priceless.  Girls want to be loved and valued.  They will get it from where they can.  Sometimes the wrong sources.  Make her hear the right sources, make her be validated for the right reasons. 

[Nivlac]

Talk is the best for girls.  Talk about her friends.  Talk about her boyfriends.  Talk about her hopes, dreams, goals.  Talk about how she will get there.  Talk about how what she is doing now will keep her from her hopes, dreams, and goals.  Talk about your mistakes, your missed hopes, your missed dreams, your missed goals.  (don't preach, be real)  Talk about what caused you to miss your own hopes, dreams, goals.  Talk about sex and the reality of the difference between what sex is to a teenage girl and what it is to a teenage boy.  Talk about how proud you are of her.  Talk about how beautiful she is.  Talk about how worthy she is of a wonderful life.  Talk to her about how hard she has to work to get that life.  Talk to her about how easy it is to give that wonderful life up is she makes too many mistakes.  Most important truly listen w/o judgment when she responds.  because she will.  If there is a good male role model in her life, get him involved.  A man who can show a girl that she can be valued for her true self, without sexuality, obligation, guilt, or worry, is priceless.  Girls want to be loved and valued.  They will get it from where they can.  Sometimes the wrong sources.  Make her hear the right sources, make her be validated for the right reasons. 

And if that doesn't work just use your taser 

My sister went through hell with her daughter so I know what your going through.

[Gator]

I was talking to a (female) friend at work about it today. It seems to be a common thread. One moment they are a malleable, biddable, do anything to please you child. Then they are a teenager and you have whiplash from looking around in shock at the latest exploit.

I hear you loud and clear, hallcat. Some of the best moments over the last 18 months haven't been when I have been grounding her for some malfeasance or other. It's when we talk and she can get her point across to me. Sometimes, I have found, I just need to STFU and let her unburden herself. It ISN'T easy being a kid these days. New and different challenges in the internet, mobile phones and bullying. That was something we had to get her through earlier this year. Oh god - I could go on and on lol. The important thing is that she feels able to talk to me. Sometimes I wish she wouldn't lol.

[Ctulu]

there seems to be a general concensus that girls seem to be worse upbringing then boy's?

[AbaddonsFury]

there seems to be a general concensus that girls seem to be worse upbringing then boy's?

Like I mentioned before Ctulu, from my experience, when they're young (before) teens, they leave boys a mile behind in everyway, then when they become teenagers, it seems to go the other way, and then levels out as adults. One thing I noticed from friends daughters to mine, with me being in a motorcycle club 20 years and my girls growing up around members of my club, some of who are built like mountains, my girls are never intimidated by men at all, infact they are very assertive and strong minded...
I've always told my girls, "walk behind no man, dont try to walk in front of either, just walk beside him as an equal".

[Gator]

there seems to be a general concensus that girls seem to be worse upbringing then boy's?

It's just the staging that differs. All hell breaks loose with girls at 13 it seems but it doesn't seem to kick in with boys until they're around 15-16 or so. I only have the one so I have no comparisons to make. This is just what my friends tell me.

[Ctulu]

And here I was with the ilusion I wanted children and would be a good father.  thanks for bursting my bubble all  :tongue2:

[Gator]

*bangs head on brick wall until it bleeds*

I had a lot to do today so I took of from work early and did the household shopping then arrived home at 2:30 pm.

Imagine my surprise when I get home and find child sitting in front of computer.

A week before Mother's Day, she ran away from home. My Mother's Day was shit.

It's my 50th birthday next week. She ain't going to ruin my birthday as well. Pissed.

[Cap'n Adeptus]

One moment they are a malleable, biddable, do anything to please you child. Then they are a teenager and you have whiplash from looking around in shock at the latest exploit.

Some days I think my 6 year old is a teenager 

One day she'll be so good, do everything she's told. :smile:
The next she's disobeying and/or ignoring what we tell her, talking back & being cheeky.
I'm not looking forward to the teenage years with this one...  though she does have a strong will, so hopefully won't cave to peer pressure...