I'm not home, honest !
I'm not drunk enough to believe that and it won't save you either. The kids have consistently fraped me on FB all night. So far I've been sunbathing in the garden in my bikini, have farted (poor Therm needs brain bleach, someone help him out ffs), have a thing for Jedward, I apparently think "I'm bang tidy" and would "smash Gary Glitters back doors in". They have been kicked into touch and I'm trying to bring the stress levels doon with a glass or 3 of Morgans

Please no button pressing tonight, I'm trying to chill
