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[Kryten]

I have just discovered that wifey has enrolled both of us on a two day 'Beginner's' sailing course, starting this Saturday.

I'm not quite sure whether this was a wise thing to do. Hopefully the weather over the weekend will be good. Will her lack of swimming ability and general cowardly nature win out, or will my stoical 'do it before you die' attitude prevail? God help us!

[Wooster]

Should be a good laugh.  

Chances are you'll start off in a windy Wayfarer or a Laser, and the wee Toppers are great fun in a good wind.  

I'd tried sailboarding and wrote it off as a bad idea (never to be tried again) since I couldn't get to grips with the wind*, but I put a lot of time in sailing, got the hang of how the sail worked and ended up placing sailboarding right up with skiing as the most exhilarating sport I'd done.
A year or so down the line (after taking it up again) I passed an RYA sailboarding instructor exam.

..I also had the most peaceful experience of my life a few days after taking the exam.
The woman who owned the RYA centre that hosted the course hired me for a few weeks (I lived in a Youth Hostel..but it wasn't bad since the bloke who managed it sold booze from under the reception desk  ).
Anyhoo, I took a group out and we ended up flat calmed.
I got them picked up by the Dory and said I'd just wait for the wind, so I just lay on my board and floated around out here for an hour: http://www.panoramio.com/photo/305377 (This pic was taken in winter, so just imagine it greener and a lot warmer  ).
It was absolute bliss.  



*tacking was a complete mystery to me beforehand and that's why I usually ended up getting slapped onto my arse every time I tried to turn.  

[Splinter]

Hope you enjoy the sailing Kryten!
I'm not one for handing out advice as a rule, but check the forecast several times over and never take hearsay.
Life jacket essential.

[Wooster]

Aye definitely check the forecast, you'll be looking to wait until a force ten is predicted, for maximum laughs.  

[Splinter]

I remember doing my RYA day skipper course at Milford Haven a few years ago.
It was just me, my wife and the instructor who was a gem, by the way.
We planned a course from Milford to Skomer island via Jack Sound (with Deadman's Bay to the right).
The tides over there are lively and at springs reach 8 knots, so the timing was crucial.
We arrived at slack water after high water so we could sail through almost in flat calm. But it wasn't flat calm.
I was extremely apprehensive being surrounded by sharp pointy rocks and the instructor simply said: 'Marc, you're outside your comfort zone now. How are you going to handle it?'
 

[Patch]

Took a small catamaran out once with my then girlfriend. Out we went, got excited and started pulling the undies down and well, I showed her my centre board and she responded with a full blown jib. Great fun. We got back to shore and the dude that rent us the cat then tried to sell photos to me that he had just taken with his telescopic lens camera. They were awesome photos. Dirty bastard.

[Wooster]

You missed a trick there, you could have said you pulled down her skegs. 

[Kryten]

Beginning to surface after my weekend sailing. Diary thus:

Morning Saturday: wifey capsized three times
Afternoon Saturday: I capsized twice
Morning Sunday: neither of us capsized, but still got wet!
Afternoon Sunday: gashed my head on boom and fell into the lake without needing to capsize (not at the same time, although it did wash the blood away.)
Right now: both of us are aching everywhere - exuberantly pleased with ourselves and looking forward for another opportunity of self flagellation.

[Wooster]

Carnival Cruises has an opening for a Captain if you're interested, but I'd get in quick since your wife looks as if she might be slightly more qualified at the moment.