Nice one mate I'm made-up for you

 I can now have your place in the dole queue I hope you have left it clean

Oooooh la la. 

Turns out I have a week in hand, they're not opening till next Monday..

That sounds like a potential headache mate.

I've seen pics of him in a kilt but never a skirt Splinter 

It's a good feeling mate. Enjoy it!
For my part, I did 2+ years sitting on my arse and returning to work was the best thing I did.

I read a sci-fi story many years ago the premise of which was that on first contact on an alien world they found a primitive people with no concept of religion or faith or the afterlife. One member of the expedition was a pastor and he took it upon himself to teach the alien natives Christianity. They nailed him to a cross to see if it worked.
Not a bad idea to me. Should try it here.

He also wears a skirt, which I always thought was an odd choice in sartorial elegance.

Game Tights?




Snakes & Ladders anyone? 

shang getthat ps updated m8 KILLZONE3 on ur TV? hhmmm...

Nahh.
Playing FPS on a console after playing them on a PC is like asking Usain Bolt if he'd like to start wearing waders when he races.